Meeting with the Lawyer

We finally have a date set to meet with our adoption lawyer! We meet with him on January 2nd. We are very excited and we can't wait to see what happens for us in 2013!!!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Beyond Surprised & Most Definitely Beyond Blessed!

Have you ever had a moment where you felt like you were in a dream?  Tonight, I had that feeling...

My sister is in town for Christmas. She said earlier that we should go to Cribbs' Kitchen tonight for dinner between 6:00 and 6:15. She started getting ready & I was taking my sweet time getting ready for dinner. I began cleaning up the house thinking that I had plenty of time, because we were just going for dinner - no rush!

My sister began asking me to hurry and get ready, so we could leave. I was still taking my sweet time. We arrived at Cribbs' Kitchen and of course it was SUPER busy! Kandace began to walk towards the back of the restaurant. I was completely confused as to why she didn't stop at the hostesses. I followed her trying to get her attention to let her know that she had completely missed the hostesses and that we had to be seated by the hostess.

When.... SURPRISE!!!!!

I was completely blown away! My family and best friends were there to celebrate sweet Baby Parker! There were sweet smiles, balloons, precious poem, books, good food, and cupcakes! I was so overwhelmed and still am completely overwhelmed! We had dinner, talked, hugged and talked some more! I am so honored to have such precious family and friends who love me and sweet Baby Parker enough to be so thoughtful and just plain wonderful!

I can't say THANK YOU enough!!!!!

I love each of you who were able to be there and who weren't able to be there! No matter what I know that you love us so much! Thank you for being my best family/ friends and for loving me no matter what! I am so glad that tonight was not a dream, because it was absolutely wonderful to get all of the women that are so precious to me in one place!

Here is just a sampling of the sweet books that Baby Parker has to look forward to when he or she arrives!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

We Passed!!!!

Our homestudy is finished!!! We passed!!! We now will meet with the lawyer and we wait for little Parker baby!!!
Thank you for the prayers!!!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Home Visit Coming Soon...

We found out today that our home study visit will be this Sunday. I'm so excited, because we are making progress!

Although, I'm nervous about my home being inspected... EEK! Let me preface, my house is not disgusting, but most certainly lived in. I'm going to have to do some incredible organizing of closets and cabinets. Yes, they will look in my closets and cabinets!!! I feel this incredible need to make my home EXTREMELY organized before Sunday.

Friends who have been through a home visit I need some pointers! :) and prayers!!!!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Adoption Christmas Card

Adoption News...

We have finally completed our Christmas Card! A big thank you to my sweet friend, Sheryl Elliott, for taking these wonderful pictures for this special Christmas card! :) You will never know how much it means to us that you took time out of your busy day to do this for us! We love you!

So, we will soon be purchasing 5-6 adoption books to be sent to prospective birth moms and I have made a super precious one on Shutterfly! FYI - that will be a good bit of money! When I purchased our Christmas cards,  I also received a $10 off offer if I post our Christmas card on my blog. Well, of course, I can't pass that up!!!

Here is an early preview of our Christmas card to help benefit our adoption!

Also, we are currently awaiting our home study date. It should be this month and then we will meet with a lawyer to be placed on their list to await our precious child!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Exciting News!

It has been too long, since I have updated our blog! We do have some exciting news to share with everyone!

WE ARE ADOPTING! 

Yes, we are so excited! We have started ALL of our paperwork to start our home study soon. We have already completed our background checks - fingerprinting & all!

I have already started our portfolio that will be shared with prospective birth mothers. The portfolio is precious! We are so excited and looking forward to meeting our future baby!

Please be praying for our birth mother! She has a very hard decision ahead of her and we are praying that she knows how much we will love and cherish the baby!

Love Y'all!

Karilyn

Change of Plans

A sweet friend posted this today. This spoke to me this afternoon and I hope that it touches you as well!

When You Have a Change of Plans

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Where do we go from here?

This has been the question going through our minds for almost three weeks!

There are so many options: another IVF cycle, adoption, or just wait some time & see where we are led.

We are currently on the third option. Derek and I don't want to rush into something unless we just know that it is God's plan for our lives! Even though the first IVF cycle didn't work, I know that some day Derek and I will be parents! It will not be in April like we thought or it could be through some unknown plan!

So to answer all of your questions about what's next, we have no idea! We are just waiting on God's perfect timing and trying not to dwell on what seems like such a defeat!

Thank you to ALL of our friends and family who have loved on us through these past few weeks!!! We love y'all so much and are so grateful for the hugs, smiles and sometimes sweet surprises!!!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Each of you have been my Lifeline!

This has been an emotional week and one that I will never forget! (I'm already crying writing this! Bless!)

I can't explain what all of the prayers either in person or from the other side of the country have meant to me! I can't believe how many people have rallied around us. God always knows what you need before you know it. I know that God knew I would need each of you for your kind words, hugs and notes of encouragement this week! God also knew that I would need to see the sweet families and students today who I have taught over the past seven years to warm my heart!

It has been a tough week, but I maybe down but I'm not out! Thank you for all of the calls, texts, Facebook messages, emails, notes and thoughtful surprises!

This is an excerpt of a sermon that a sweet friend sent me! We all have something that we are struggling with each day, so I hope this touches your life as well!

"I invite you today to look back over your own life. It is strange that we live our lives moving forward, but we understand them only when we look back.

Look back and look for those places where some small step of faith, some gentle act of love, some moment of compassion turned into a far greater blessing than anything you could have imagined at the time.

I also invite you to look back, and to look for those moments where someone’s words to you, their open arms to your trouble, or their open heart to your struggle made all the difference. Like a lifeline thrown out at just the right time, you were pulled in to a safe shore, and found again a good place to stand up.

I invite you to think of those people along the road who loved you, mentored you, stood by you at the right time – and they do not know how much difference their faith and faithfulness made in your journey. They do not know, but you know, and God knows how much more came out of that than they ever imagined.

God is always able to accomplish more than we can ask or imagine. That line saves the day for me. Because I have seen, over and over again, that it is true."

Thank you to each of you who have been my lifeline this week! You are truly a blessing!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

My heart is breaking but I know God has a plan for us!

I received the call that my bloodwork came back negative, which means that I'm not pregnant and neither of the embryos attached.

My heart hurts!!!

I know that God has a perfect plan, but it is so hard to see right now!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY!!!!

Tomorrow morning at 7:30am, I will have blood drawn to see if I'm pregnant!!!

I don't know where to start with my emotions that I'm feeling!

Nervous,
Excited,
Petrified,
Happy,
Exhausted!!!

I'm praying so hard that my beta levels are high to show a pregnancy! Thank you to everyone today for the hugs, prayers, and support!

Love y'all!!!!
Karilyn

Love & Support!

I have always thought this, but today (and really this whole journey) has made me realize that I have the best family and friends!!! Thank you for loving on us and praying for us through this journey!

The day started off with a slight scare, but NO WORRIES! Everything is fine!!! :) My sweet family & friends sent encouraging messages and even called to check on me!

Beth was given the responsibility of another shot this morning! She did a fabulous job of taking off the cap this time!!! :)

I have felt completely exhausted today, but my sweet friends at work were such an encouragement today! All of the hugs and support mean so much! I really do work with FABULOUS PEOPLE!!!!

Then, my wonderful friend, Lindsey and her sweet little boy, Hamilton stopped by to see me! It was so good to spend time with Lindsey and Hamilton is just absolutely precious!

Thank you to everyone for all of your love and support! It has made the 12 day wait so much shorter.

My next appointment is Tuesday, August 14th at 7:30am. Pray that my blood work shows that Parker Baby or Babies are there to stay!!! I will not know the results until later in the day when my IVF Coordinator calls back with the results. Pray for peace for myself and Derek (and probably the rest of my blog readers) as we wait for the results!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

And the Wait Continues....

In a little over a week, I will go in for blood work to see if I'm pregnant! This is all wonderfully exciting, but at the same time completely stressful!
I have replayed in my mind the two possibilities over and over! How I'm going to feel when I get the phone call with the nurse saying what I have been waiting to hear for three years "YOU'RE PREGNANT!" or the opposite statement being said to me!
It is a lot to take in and I'm praying for a wonderful pregnancy, but trying to prepare myself in case the embryos don't implant!
This is something that I read that has really stuck with me especially as I'm in the middle of the waiting game!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Embryo Transfer

On the ride to the PREG office, I took a valium and dizepam. Let's just say that I had no worries! As usual, I had to give a blood sample. Bless! Then, the nurse walked me back to the OR/ Recovery area. She gave me this super fashion forward gown, footies and cap! I changed into my new gear with of course the ties to the gown in the back. I mean what better place, because it is super easy to tie them back there! Bless! Derek arrived a few minutes after me, because he came from work. He was then told that he got to wear the super cool outfit too over his clothes! We finally went into the OR. After signing a great deal of paperwork, we finally watched as our two embryos were placed into their new home for the next nine months!!!
The sweet PREG team gave us a picture of the embryos. This made me giggle, but then as we sat in the Recovery room for 20 minutes it made me tear up! I know it is crazy! :)

Back, Back, Back it on Up....

I just got a phone call from PREG. Apparently, the two embryos are doing well! YAY!!! But they have also pushed my embryo transfer to 2:30 pm. My doctor had a situation at their Asheville office, so keep praying through the day! It is so hard to remain calm during this time!
I have a nervous excitement today! I can't wait, but I'm nervous that they won't stick. Pray that I remember who is in control and that He has a perfect plan for us!
A sweet friend sent me this yesterday. Pray that this is my focus!

Putting My Trust in the Birthday Girl!

Every morning, I am given an intramuscular shot of Progesterone. Nurse Derek has been giving these to me. This morning, Birthday Girl Beth called and I went to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast with her, Jude and Launa. Nurse Derek is NOT a morning person, but I asked him before I left if we needed to go ahead and do the shot before he left for work. Nurse Derek said that I would be back before he left for work.
The line at Chick-Fil-A was SUPER long due to the Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day. We got back to my house and Nurse Derek had left for work. Apparently, he had tried to call me three times, but I didn't hear my phone ring. BUMMER!!! I'm beginning to panic.... A LOT!!!!
Beth is my only option! Those of you who know Beth know that I'm beginning to panic even more! I love her, but she has never given a shot!
I begin to walk her through the process again and again AND AGAIN!!!!
She starts saying the steps out loud. I'm thinking that she is just practicing, because she has not taken the cap off the shot. Oh no! Beth is shooting the medicine into the cap of the needle. SHE DIDN'T TAKE THE CAP OFF! Bless her heart!!! We start over! This time she takes the cap off and gives the shot while Launa and Jude run around chasing the dog!
The Birthday Girl did a great job once she took the cap off! Once, she was finished with the shot she asked Jude if he needed a shot. He said, "No, I'm good!"
It has been quite the morning!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Two are better than none!

Yesterday's egg retrieval went really well. I had very little pain. The only thing was that I was SUPER tired, so I slept most of the day with Nurse Derek checking in on me to make sure that I was drinking my Gatorade!
I received a call from my embryologist this morning that only 4 of my eggs were mature and only 2 fertilized. I'm trying not to be bummed out, but ONLY two!!!! Yes, it only takes one to make a baby, but what if these don't divide properly!
I have really got to get out of this "Doubting Thomas" stage and remember that God is in control and He has the best plan for Derek and myself!!!
Please pray that I'm not going to think "what if" or question God's plan, but that I will rejoice in the fact that there are two potential babies growing and that God has a plan for them!
Also, pray that the fertilized eggs continue to have cell division.
The embryo transfer will be Thursday at 10:45am! Pray that these two embryos "stick"!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Prayer Requests...

1) Pray that I have no bad reactions to the anesthesia.
2) Pray that the nurses can find one of my veins for the IV. My veins are so stinkin' hard to find. Bless!
3) Pray that the eggs that are collected are mature and fertilize easily.
4) Pray for a husband and wife that I saw this morning. They were doing their first IUI this morning and I just couldn't help but identify with them. Derek and I were just there on an early Sunday morning months ago doing the same thing.

Love y'all!
Karilyn

PS- Derek did not have to give me the shot last night. My parents' neighbor, Hope, is a nurse, so I felt that she was highly qualified. She did a great job, because I didn't feel a thing!

The Cullen Clan must run PREG...

I drove back to good OL' Greenville this morning for my appointment at 7:30am! As soon as I got there, the sweet nurse drew another tube of blood. (That makes 7 tubes for this week!!!! The Cullen Clan aka the vampires in Twilight must be running PREG, because that is a lot of blood just to run some tests.)
Anyways, the doctor did another ultrasound and everything looks great! My egg retrieval is scheduled for Monday morning at 8:30 am. Derek has to give me a shot tonight, because where it goes I can't reach. (aka the booty! EEK!) Say a prayer that he can do it properly, because it is an intramuscular shot and the needle is SUPER long! Jesus, take the wheel!!!!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

PS - I have another appointment in the morning at 8:00am, so that the Cullen Clan can do more labs! (aka draw blood!)

Kindred Spirit!

This blog, which was shared by a sweet friend, Jenni, just hit home for me! If you are wondering how I feel read this blog, her blog completely shares my thoughts exactly!

And, YES, I cried reading it! When don't I cry right now?!?! Bless!

http://doublethereinsteins.blogspot.com/2012/04/dont-ignoremy-infertility-journey.html?m=0


Also, I found out that my egg retrieval will be early Monday morning. Pray that everything goes smoothly and that we get the best results possible! 


Love y'all!
Karilyn




PS - Thank you to Jenni for sharing the blog! You can't imagine how fabulous it is to see such a sweet story that I feel to this point is almost a mirror image of our story!

Egg Retrieval Coming Soon...

This morning's appointment went very well! I met with the doctor that made me cry at my first IUI, but no worries because he was so sweet to me! I'm going to chalk up the IUI experience to a bad day. It is so nice to go into the Greenville office, which isn't the office that I normally go to and the nurses know my name! They are so sweet and if I wasn't a teacher, I would be a nurse so that I could work with them! 

The doctor told me that the egg retrieval could be either Sunday or Monday and that I need to come back for ANOTHER ultrasound on Saturday (tomorrow) to check the sizes again. Bless! Pray that I have between 10-12 good eggs from this process! 

Love y'all!

Karilyn

HOORAY!!!!!!!

WE ARE MOVING ON!!!!

I have an ultrasound and bloodwork tomorrow. I will also find out when my egg retrieval will be for sure. My IVF Coordinator just mentioned that it could be either Sunday or Monday!!!!!! That is so stinkin' close!!!!!

HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you so much for your prayers, texts, emails and Facebook messages! Y'all are some of the sweetest friends and I'm so lucky to be blessed with wonderful family and friends!!!!! That sweet Parker baby dream keeps getting closer and closer to becoming a reality!!!!!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

PS - Sorry for all of the exclamation points. BUT I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

Update from This Morning!

I called my doctor to find out the results, because I was a bit impatient! (Shocking, I know!) the doctor has scheduled another ultrasound for Thursday morning!
Please pray that the smaller follicles grow to a good size and are "contenders" for this cycle. If they do not grow, the doctor will cancel this IVF cycle! I'm trying not to dwell on the negative! Please also pray that no matter what the results on Thursday that I will have a peace about it, which will be so tough for me if the cycle is cancelled.

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Prayer Request!!!!

My appointment this morning showed that I have two follicles that are too big. They are reviewing my labs to decide if they are going to cancel this IVF cycle or if I will continue. Please pray that the doctors make the best decision!
I am super disappointed that there is a chance of the IVF cycle being cancelled. That means starting all over with meds. I'm trying not to cry about this, but my husband sent me the sweetest text message! I am so lucky to be married to such a wonderful, godly leader!
I should find out this afternoon...

Derek included this verse in my text message.
Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Please pray!!!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Tomorrow Brings ANOTHER Ultrasound!

Tomorrow is another ultrasound! (I'm pretty sure that I could run the ultrasound machine myself!!!) The doctors/nurses are checking to see how the hormone shots are affecting my follicles. Pray that the follicles are growing how they should be and that the doctors/nurses are seeing everything that they should be at this stage!! 

Thank you so much to everyone who is praying! We are so amazed at this journey! And we get so excited thinking that in less than a year, we could be PARENTS!!! I can't stop smiling about that! :) 

I will update everyone tomorrow, but as of right now my egg retrieval is July 31st and the embryo transfer is August 5th! That is so close!!!! This really has fallen into place perfectly! (Of course, God's timing is perfect!) I will be in between my semesters for Grad School and I won't start teaching for another two weeks! YAY! This gives me time for recovery! Isn't it amazing how perfectly God worked this out for Derek and myself!?!?!

Also, any teacher friends who go up to school in the next few weeks and think, "Gosh, Karilyn is such an overachiever!" Actually, I wanted to get everything done in my room/ bulletin board, because I don't want to do anything strenuous during our teacher workdays. 

Thank you for your prayers and I will update you soon!

Love y'all!

Karilyn

Too Blessed to Be Stressed!

This whole process can be VERY stressful! 

Take this medicine twice... this one once a day... this shot needs to be 5cc... this shot is 225cc... this shot needs to be 15cc... make sure that you follow the exact steps when giving the shots to yourself...

It is very easy to become stressed, but at the same time I think about the sweet people that I see/talk to each day who are so supportive. The people that I see in Target who say that they have been through this and that they are praying for us. The people who send sweet text messages checking on me or just sending a message through Facebook. I have been so blessed by the outpouring of your love towards Derek and myself! 

God can reveal Himself in so many ways and y'all are one of those ways! I just feel a peace about this, because of the support from everyone! Y'all will never know how much your smiles and sweet, encouraging messages mean to us! I'm tearing up thinking about it, but I'm going to blame it on the hormones! :)

Love y'all!

Karilyn

Today's Appointment

This morning's appointment went FABULOUSLY! The IVF nurse took my blood to check my hormone levels, which were great! Then, I did another ultrasound to check that the follicles were small and there were no cysts. 

Everything was perfect! 

Thank you so much for your prayers! I feel so excited about this and I'm looking forward to the blessings that lay ahead for us. :) I'm thrilled and cautiously optimistic that IVF will work for us!

Love y'all!

Karilyn

Just to Clear Up a Few Things!

So... Myself, family and friends have been fielding MANY questions about this blog. Here are some quick answers. :)

1) I am NOT pregnant...................... YET! 

2) I am going through IVF right now. (IVF = In-Vitro Fertilization)

3) I am doing shots each day along with oral medications. I'm pretty much a walking CVS or Walgreens. I found the following statement and thought that it really fit my circumstances right now.

AMEN!!!!!!!

4) I'm NOT going to be Octo-Mom! That's for you, Jennifer! :) 

5) I have a 60% chance of having one baby, 30% chance of having twins, and 10% chance of triplets if the embryos implant. 

Tomorrow brings another ultrasound and more blood work. I'm not sure what they are looking for at this appointment, but pray that everything goes well and we are able to continue moving forward!

Love y'all!

Karilyn

Sunny California!

Day 1...

Derek and I had a wonderful time in California this past week! We flew out early Monday morning. We arrived in beautiful California at 10:30 am with PLENTY of time to go sight-seeing! Our first stop was the Santa Monica Pier! What an interesting place....

Kandace & I at the Santa Monica Pier

We voted him the "Best Entertainer on the Pier" and also "Best Dressed" for obvious reasons!

Derek & Kandace eating at Bubba Gump's Restaurant

We also did some driving through Malibu, which was absolutely gorgeous and very cool at 64 degrees! Loved the weather there! After exploring the coast, we headed back to Bakersfield, CA where my sister lives. (Side Note - If you don't know, my sister works for Nestle Purina and has lived in Iowa and New York before moving to CA.) 

Day 2...

We headed back to Los Angeles. The original plan was to drive to the San Diego Zoo, but driving four hours one way to see the animals just didn't seem right, so we settled for the LA Zoo which was fabulous!

Lions, Tigers and Bears! Oh my! 

(Actually, they didn't really come out of the shade because it was so stinkin' hot!)

After a walk around the zoo, which Derek was thrilled about doing in the heat (haha!) We left to grab some lunch. As we were leaving, Warner Bros. was filming across the street for something set in Boston, because there were Boston police cars and Boston school buses everywhere.

We drove into Hollywood and had some wonderful sushi! (YUM!)

After lunch, we drove down the Hollywood Boulevard. 

Hollywood Boulevard

 Chinese Theater (Everyone was there!)

Kodak Theater (Now Dolby Theater)

Someone "living the dream" on Hollywood Blvd

Kandace and I wanted to see the Hollywood Sign. Derek was more excited about getting to the Warner Bros. VIP tour. He was not happy when our Los Angeles app took us through the Hollywood Hills to see the sign. The road was big enough for barely two cars and there were cars parked along one side of the road. Kandace was driving us uphill around sharp curves where you could not see if another car was around the curve. Kandace and I laughed the entire time. Derek was brooding, because he was scared that we weren't going to make it to his precious VIP tour. Bless!

We did see the Hollywood sign! 

And Derek also make it to the VIP tour with PLENTY of time to spare!

We made it to the Warner Bros. VIP Tour! 

We did have a blast, but we had an awesome tour guide, Brad! 

Kandace and I outside before the tour began.

Kandace and Scooby Doo

 Derek and General Lee's Car

 Derek and the Batmobile

This was super exciting! Warner Bros. Studios has kept the Central Perk set preserved!  

For True Blood and Pretty Little Liar fans, this is Merlotte's Diner 

and the motel in the Pretty Little Liars' episodes.

Pretty Little Liars' shed

Lots of cool things on the VIP tour! We also went onto the set of The Big Bang Theory, saw lots of props and clothes used in different movies and TV shows and the row of houses and buildings used to film numerous shows and movies. It is pretty incredible how they use their sets over and over again!

Day 3...

We drove back out to LA to be in the audience for a taping of the Jay Leno show with Morgan Freeman and a few others. We sat out in the heat for a couple hours. We met a sweet family from Florida, who we talked to the whole time that we were there. Finally, we went into the studio to start the taping. Lots of people, including Jay Leno, come out to speak to you and welcome you to the show. They only take a hour to tape the show and FYI the Tonight Show is not filmed at night. It is filmed at 4pm. Crazy!

We were not allowed to take pictures inside the studio, so that is why I have no pictures for this. They were definitely serious about not taking pictures, because I reached in my purse for my chapstick and EVERY security guards' eyes went onto me!!!! Sheesh!

Day 4 and 5....

These were low key days spent waiting on my sister's new furniture or just having fun in Bakersfield! 

It truly was a blast!

Also in the midst of this fun-filled trip, I started my shots. Hooray! I'm able to give myself the shots which is good that I don't have to rely on anyone to be home at a specific time. Although, my neighbor & friend, Holly, and friend, Joni,  have been generous enough to say that they would give the shots to me if I can't! 

Here is a little sign that my sister sent to me right before Derek and I flew out there! I think that it pretty much sums up us!

I miss her and I'm trying not to cry as I type this!

Love y'all! 

Karilyn

So Far So Good!

This morning (BRIGHT & EARLY!) was my ultrasound to check for cysts. I am more than happy to report that everything looked great! I will spare you the specific details of the appointment, but there are NO cysts! The sweet nurse told me that if things were going to go wrong, then it would be at this appointment and there was nothing wrong! Yay!!!!

Thank you to everyone who continues to pray for us! We are so appreciative of your continued thoughts and prayers. I had a sweet friend this morning send a sweet message of support. She also included this verse, which is absolutely perfect for this journey! "For this child I prayed and the Lord has given me what I asked for." (1 Samuel 1:27)

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Overwhelmed and Feeling So Blessed!

Okay... so Derek and I had kind of talked about posting the blog on Facebook, but that was a HUGE step for me and I really didn't want to do it. Then, I had a change of heart yesterday. (Well, maybe just a slight waiver.) I mentioned to Derek may be we should post to Facebook, but may be we should not! As usual, I was fickle about whether or not to post on Facebook. This is something truly personal and how can I expose myself (and Derek) to the "World of Facebook"! Well, Derek decided for us! :)

I woke up this morning at 6am to a text from my cousin, "You're preggers?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!" And then the second text, "Nevermind I just read your post. Praying for ya! Good luck! :)". I was like "WHAT???? HOW DID HE FIND THIS?" Then, I found that Derek had posted it on Facebook. I had a moment of panic and thinking how can I get this down!!! Then, I realized it was out there and it was time to post it myself.

It was one of the best things that I (really Derek!) had ever done! My inbox has been going crazy with messages of encouragement or similar stories of infertility. I have for the most part through this journey (until the past few months) felt completely alone through this journey. I could never have been so wrong!  I have been so encouraged and touched by the numerous stories and experiences of my friends! I can't say how much your stories have meant to me to know that Derek and I are not alone in this journey!

I have wonderful friends and family and I LOVE how precious y'all have been with your encouraging comments! Thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone and that I have a wonderful support system!

Love y'all!
Karilyn

Prayer Request

This Saturday, I have my first ultrasound to check that I have no cysts on my ovaries. (I have never had cysts before, but now is not the time that I want to get them.) Please pray that this ultrasound is clear and that we are ready to start the injections next week!

Where it all began....

As a little girl, my dreams included:

 becoming a teacher (check), 

marrying my best friend (check), 

and becoming a mom.

The last one on my list just wasn't happening for us. Why wasn't this easy for us? Being a Christian, I began to wonder why God was doing this to us. I found myself becoming mad at God every time a friend became pregnant so easily. Why can't we do that??? There were too many nights of crying and pleading with God.

After 18 months of trying on our own, Derek and I finally decided to talk to my OB-GYN about our options. As I was getting on the elevator to head to the appointment, a teenage couple came onto the elevator with me. As the elevator doors began to shut, the young couple begins to talk about her being pregnant and they are not sure how they are going to care for this baby. I felt so hurt! Here is a teenage couple who had very little means to raise a child, but they were expecting a baby. I was resentful of the fact that Derek and I were able to care for a child, but we couldn't get pregnant. (Looking back, my reaction should have been drastically different. I could have prayed with them about their future. I could have shown them God's love, but that is a moment that I can't do again.)

At the appointment...
My OB-GYN suggested that I start taking Clomid. For those of you who have NEVER experienced the effects of Clomid, here are a few words to describe it. Clomid makes you cry, gain weight, cry, mad (especially if a restaurant leaves the ham on your sandwich when you specifically asked for turkey), have I mentioned crying like uncontrollable sobbing for hours at a time?, and a crazy, hormonal beast. I'm surprised that Derek put up with me for those two months. Even though I went through HADES and back with this medicine, we were still not pregnant. Each month brought the hope of the plus sign or double lines on the pregnancy test, which were shot down each month.

My OB-GYN finally referred us to Piedmont Reproductive Endocrinologist Group or PREG. This turn gave me hope. I met with my new doctor. He is so sweet! The staff were wonderful and I felt a sense of peace here!!! That had not happened in quite sometime. My doctor and I began talking about what mine and Derek's protocol was going to be to get pregnant. His plan involved 3 IUIs (intrauterine insemination) and if those didn't work, then we were moving to IVF (in-vitro fertilization).

At our first IUI, Derek and I sat in the waiting room early one Sunday morning. I was nervous, but SUPER excited! Although, that excitement was soon squashed by another doctor's stern tone. Not to go into too many details, but I ended up doing the IUI in the midst of tears. I cried during the procedure, on the way home and in the Cracker Barrel dining room. It wasn't the best experience by far. The two week wait time began and I was hoping even though that doctor said it wasn't going to work that we were going to prove him wrong! Unfortunately, we didn't!

The next month, we tried again. This time we saw my doctor and he was so sweet. He also told us again (with a much better bedside manner!) that this more than likely will not work but he left it with "you never know!'. I had HIGH hopes, which didn't come to light. Another month with a negative pregnancy test! My doctor called and set up an appointment to go a different route.

At the next appointment, Derek and I sat and listened to him suggest IVF to us. That this was a better option for our situation. I sat there and thought how are we going to pay for this! Yes, my insurance covers 70% (YAY!), but we don't really have the 30% to spend! Derek, who has been a wonderful, godly example through this whole process, told me to not worry that if God brings us to it, then He will provide. Well, I can't believe that I'm saying this, but Derek was RIGHT!

We are now getting ready to start our journey through the IVF process! I start a crazy amount of shots and medicines next week! Please pray that everything goes smoothly!

Sorry that the post is EXTREMELY long!

Love y'all!
Karilyn